A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party.
He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit
The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden
leg you will be just right as a Pirate
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:
Sorry about the previous parcel
Please find enclosed a monk's habit
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part
The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head
So he writes a really strong letter of complaint.
A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup
We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, let it harden, then stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.