Finger Rank

Two elderly buddies are on their way to the Army Induction Center for physicals:

Neither wants to go to war, so one says.

“I hear that if you don't have any teeth they won't take you.”

They decide it's worth a try, so they stop at a dentist and have all their teeth pulled.

When they arrive at the Induction Center there is a line waiting to get physicals.

They decide it might look fishy if both stand in line, one after the other,

So one guy heads for the back of the line.

Just as he steps into line, a big ole farm boy hits the end of the line right in front of him, so the second toothless guy lines up behind him.

The first toothless elderly guy steps up and the doctor asks.

“Anything wrong with you?”

The guy says

“Well, no, except I don't have any teeth.”

The doctor says

“Open up and let me have a look.”

The guy opens his mouth and the doctor runs his finger around his gums and says.

“Sure enough, you stand over there.”

The line slowly progressed to his buddy while he waited.

The farmboy in front of him steps up and the doctor asks.

“Anything wrong with you?”

The farmboy says.

“No doc, ‘ceptin I have a little case of the piles.”

The doctor says

“Bend over, spread 'em and let me see.”

The boy does.

The doctor rams his finger in, pulls it out, looks at his finger and says.

“Sure ‘nough

You stand over there.”

The next toothless guy having observed the examination with the farmboy steps up and when the doctor asks him.

“Anything wrong with you.”

“Not a damn thing, just give me a gun, I'm a fighting son-of-a-bitch!”